Community Discussions
Explore the latest discussions and community conversations related to this domain.
My [32 M] bf [32 M] has no career ambition - underachiever (6 months+)
Main Post:
Hi. I'm looking for advice on how to deal with my bf's lack of ambition and underachieving.
A little background: he's a very smart guy which is apparent from his hobbies which include: electronics, gaming (simulations mostly), computer programming and car maintenance. He did well at school and started university at 19 but dropped out after only a few months. From there on he has worked in IT support at the same place (12 years approx).
He hates his jobs with a passion. At first he was field support but was demoted to help desk for constant slacking off and tardiness and is still often in trouble for the same stuff. How he is still employed is truly a wonder. He takes random days off, without informing me, purely because he doesn't want to go in. There has been waves of voluntary redundancies at his place of work over the years and he has mentioned several times that if they come up again he is seriously considering taking it and this concerns me deeply.
As some perspective; I also work in the IT industry and have made it up to the position of manager for a medium sized business and I didn't even make the grade to be considered for university after high school.
I really want to help him find a new job that he enjoys and earns better because he IS totally capable of it. I have experience in the sector, my CV (resume) is pretty good despite lacking some qualifications and I have been on recruitment teams before, however, whenever I bring up the subject he gets a bit defensive and shuts down saying that he doesn't want to talk about it. I can't work out quite what the issue is but I think it may be fear of the unknown as he hasn't worked anywhere else and while he dislikes his job it's comfortable because it's all he knows.
Of course I find this quite unattractive and I worry about the future but the last thing I want is to pressure him into doing something he doesn't want to do.
So my question is: how do I help him get past this and find a new rewarding enjoyable job, OR am I simply projecting my own stance on the matter onto him?
Thanks for any help.
tldr; bf hates his job and won't put any effort into finding a new one and aspires to be a bum.
Top Comment:
If I were you I wouldn't burn someone else by recommending your bf. You know his work ethic is non-existing, recommending him will put you in a bad light.
I (23F) want to change careers and become a teacher but my BF (24M) HATES teachers with a passion.
Main Post:
First time posting on reddit. Sorry for any formatting issues I'm on mobile.
I'll try to keep this post brief.
My BF and I have been dating for just a little over a year. He is my first boyfriend and my first love. Our relationship would be picture perfect if it wasn't for this one issue ...
My BF has a deep hatred for people in the teaching profession which I 100% don't agree with.
Growing up he suffered through some terrible experiences with crappy teachers at school and even today he often has bad experiences with teachers at work (he works in IT for a highschool and helps teachers with their laptops and other technical stuff).
My BF believes that teachers are egotistical with a self-inflated idea of their own intelligence. He also believes that so called "good teachers" don't exist and that the vast majority of teachers are, in fact, too stupid to teach.
Often he comes home ranting about another issue he had with a particular teacher at work and how he wishes he could be free of teachers.
I work in retail at the moment but I've recently decided I want to become a highschool teacher for Humanities. However, I'm afraid to tell my BF because I fear he will judge me and/or put me down for wanting to be a teacher. I'm also deeply worried it will change his opinion of me.
If I do end up becoming a teacher I would obviously expect my BF to stop venting to me about how much he hates teachers. But still ... deep down I will always know he hates teachers ... and perhaps we won't be able to overcome that?
How do I approach this conversation with my BF? I want to have a productive conversation with him about how we can move forward if I pursue teaching as profession. Any advice?
TLDR: BF has a low opinion of teachers, but I've decided I want to actually become a teacher. Any advice for how to approach the topic with BF?
Top Comment:
What...the...fuck...
Are you aware there is a couple of big red flags here ? First, he hates ALL teachers. Your bf clearly has issues and he has shitty reasonning skill. Second, he hates teachers and yet, he works for them. Why is he putting himself in such a situation ? Third, you both have opposite values (he hates teaching, you want to dedicate your live to teaching). Fourth, your couple's dynamic and communication is fucked because of your bf's unreasonnable hate against a freaking profession.
Dont you realise how weird and fucked up all this is ?
My bf and I are in the same field and his career is moving much faster and more successfully than mine. How do I keep from feeling jealous?
Main Post:
We are both 24yo - been dating for 4+ years.
We are both in the biotech industry. He only has his BS, while I have my BS and MS, but he already ranks higher than me in terms of his job title. Needless to say, as an inherently competitive, prideful person, and as much as I am in love with him, sometime I just feel insanely bitter that I put in more time/work, but am not doing as well as him - so much so, that I'm afraid it will hurt our relationship. I have even considered switching fields.
Anyone who experienced something similar care to share how they dealt with it?
Top Comment: I know this feeling. My SO and I work at the same university (though, in different departments) and he earns almost twice what I do, with several promotions while I had to fight tooth and nail with my boss to get a 6% raise. He has a Masters, but what I do is a lot more valuable to the university. I thought about it for a while why it bothered me, and it came down to that he made a lot more than me and yet we split everything 50/50. We live in a big expensive city and it hurt me to pay half our gigantic rent payment than it hurt him. I supported him completely while he was unemployed for 6 months and now he kept draining even more of my hard earned cash. So we talked about it, and we split our bills in the same ratio of my income to his. I am still jealous when he gets bonuses in the thousands of dollar ranges, but our jobs are just different. His department relies a lot less on grants and has a lot more money than mine and they can afford to pay him like that and mine isn't so willing.
Bf 110 Career, Iron Man Mode: Ep. 2 :D
Main Post: Bf 110 Career, Iron Man Mode: Ep. 2 :D
Top Comment:
Good old AI.